Love's Memory
by L.J.Eden
Summary: The night Lexa left her to die was the moment that Clarke knew she loved her. But when Cage's actions on the mountain leave Clarke suffering with memory loss, can Lexa not only make the woman remember her, but also love her once more?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The fight against the mountain men is over, and yet my struggle has just begun. Lexa leaving us hit me harder than I could have ever have imagined, it was as though she had drove her blade through my chest and into my heart. As I stood in front of her, begging her not to leave I broke, I knew that after this day I would never be the same. It hurt more than Finn, and that is what affected me the most, the fact that I knew there and then that I had grown to love this woman. Even though I didn't want to admit it, she had made me love her only to then betray me and leave me for dead.

I hated her not only for the love I now harboured for her, but for the actions that she forced me to take in order for my people to survive. The lives I took tonight will haunt me for the rest of my life, along with the fractured faces of their loved ones that I will have to look upon everyday.

As I walk out of the mountain with my head hung in defeat I suddenly feel the extreme weight of the world on my shoulders. Falling to my knees I bury my face in my hands and weep into them "Clarke," a soothing voice whispers into my ear, and I listen as they struggle to kneel next to me "it's OK, it's over now" they take a deep breath before releasing it shakily.

Frowning through the tears I raise my head slightly to see my mother beside me. My eyes immediately follow hers as she looks down at something "Mom," I sob when I see her hand, slick with blood clutching at her stomach.

"Clarke," she gasps, her lips slowly spreading into a smile before she collapses to the muddy ground "you did it, you saved us" she whispers in awe as she gazes up at me.

"Let me go get help," I say, suddenly coming back to my senses I look around to see that there are many people huddled over others, rushing around in the chaos as they try to help anyone they can.

"No, my time has come Clarke. I know that I will not make it through this"

"Mom please," I beg as I make to stand up, but her hand shoots from her stomach and lands on my arm, keeping me there in a vice like grip. Another sob racks my body as my own hands quickly move to cover where hers had just been. The sight of her blood seeping through my fingers makes me lose all hope "I cant lose you too" I cry "please don't leave me, everyone leaves me"

"You are strong Clarke…I k-knew the day you were born that you would do great things…a-and you d-did…you brought us _h-home_" she chokes on her words and I watch helplessly as the tears begin to spill from her eyes "I am so p-proud of you" she stutters, her breathing becoming more laboured with each passing second.

"I forgive you," I mumble as I wipe the blood that's slowly trickled from the side of her mouth "for what happened with dad" I elaborate as she looks up at me puzzled, at my words her grip on me tightens even more and she nods slowly.

"Thank you," she whispers as she looks up at the clear night's sky. I glance up as well and watch as the stars twinkle beautifully.

"We always said we would stargaze if we ever made it to earth" at my words my mother laughs gently, and I close my eyes and listen.

"Better l-late t-than never"

"Yeah" I say, looking back down at the woman that has raised me, loved me and stood by me my entire life "may we meet again" I cry as I lean down and kiss her forehead.

"May w-we meet a-again" she speaks her last words before her hand falls from my arm and her eyes become still. I do not hear myself, but I know in that moment that I am screaming as I shake my mothers shoulder. With tears streaming down my face I wrap my arms around her and cradle her lifeless form to me.

How long I sit there with my mother I do not know, I'm not aware of anything around me expect for the feeling of her in my arms. No sounds penetrate the screaming voice in my head. My father, Finn, Lexa and now my mother have all been taken from me, I have no one and no one has me.

"CLARKE" a voice yells somewhere in the distance. Blinking back the tears I look around only to see the same hectic scene I did earlier, except now people seem to be running, running towards me.

"CLARKE" another voice screams and this time I recognise it as Bellamy's. I search the space in front of me for him and when my eyes land on his sprinting form he raises a hand and points to something behind me.

Frowning I turn my head, squinting as a looming figure approaches me from the entrance of the mountain. He stumbles towards me, his own hand outstretched in front of him "Cage," I whisper in horror.

The next few second pass by in a blur, I hear but do not see the spear that rushes through the air and towards Cage. I see but do feel the bullet Cage sends speeding towards me, but as I hit the ground its almost like someone pushed a button and all my senses come flooding back to me.

I can feel the blood rushing down the side of my head, the sound of people shouting my name becomes clearer. Soon enough Octavia is above me and her hand is pressed firmly against my wound "It's just a graze" she urges as more people begin to surround me.

"_Lexa" _I whisper as my eyes become heavy "Tell her..."

"Tell her what Clarke?" I somewhat feel someone shaking my shoulder.

"That it's not her fault"

"CLARKE" I hear but then everything goes black.

**A/N: So I really would like to know if you guys think I should continue with this idea?**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I watch as the silhouette of my mother's body slowly begins to fade as she travels her last journey down the river. Many people did not agree with my decision to have this kind of farewell, they argued that our custom on earth is to bury our dead. Yet for some reason this felt like more of an honour to me, why exactly I have no idea.

Since I woke up a week ago the days have passed by in a blur. The moment I became conscious I was dazed and confused. My surroundings were not what they should have been. I was in a hut made of scrap pieces of metal and in a bed covered with animal furs, but the last place I remember being is on the Ark and in the confined space of my cell.

I had groggily walked Camp Jaha in a daze, there were some faces I recognized but many I had never seen before. What unsettled me the most in that moment, was not the fact that I was obviously no longer on the Ark, but in some unknown foreign land, but the realization that all these people apparently seemed to know me, and judging by their hateful glares I wasn't very popular. It was then as I stood in the lions den that a familiar face came rushing towards me.

Marcus had wrapped his arms around my shoulders and taken me into what looked like the remnants of the Ark. It was at that point I remember crumbling in his arms, my head beginning to throb in uncontrollable pain. His arms held me more tightly as he somewhat guided me down beaten corridors and towards the infirmary where I had spent many an hour tending to patients with my mother.

When we entered the foggy form of Jackson appeared in front of me, and with Marcus's help they carried me to one of the medical bays. It was then that he began to bombard me questions, like how was my vision, could I say my name and how was I feeling.

As Jackson checked over my wound Marcus filled me in on just how exactly I got this injury to my head. Apparently the bullet that a man named Cage had fired towards me had luckily just grazed the right side of my head and for all intents and purposes it had caused no lasting damage.

After I had somewhat processed everything something suddenly struck me. It was at that point that I had rushed out two very important questions, firstly why are we no longer in space and just where the hell are we now, and secondly why is Jackson here tending to my injuries instead of my mother. It then became apparent to everyone in room except for me, that something was very wrong.

They tentatively informed me of my mothers death, which had come at the hands of people that they called 'mountain men'. They spoke of how the chancellors had sent down a group of people to see if earth was survivable for us after over a hundred years of seclusion. It was at that point that I zoned out and Marcus's words become nothing more than background noise to the thoughts now rushing through my mind.

Like so many people I knew on the Ark before all this happened I was now considered an orphan. I no longer have any family to call my own, the very last of my people now steadily becoming a blur in the distance. Taking a deep breath I whisper words that I have never heard or spoken before, but yet for reason they are imbedded within me and they flow from my mouth effortlessly "Your fight is over"

"Clarke?" a soothing voice suddenly says just as my mother completely disappears from view "lets go inside, its cold out here," the voice urges gently. I turn and face the person I had apparently become good friends with since the 100 were sent down to earth.

I nod my head in agreement just as a violent gust of wind makes me shiver uncontrollably. We begin to make our way back towards the camp in silence, and it is in moments like this that I can appreciate why Octavia and me would have been friends. She does not push for answers, she allows us to walk in silence but all the while making it known that she is willing to talk if I need to "Do you think my mother would have liked it?" I question as I begin to second-guess myself.

"Yes I do, it was beautiful Clarke. I did not know your mother like you did, but I know you honored her today and that she would be proud"

It has been a few hours since my mothers funeral and I have retreated back to the one place I feel the safest at the moment. Since I woke up some of the people around the camp have been hostile towards me, pushing and shoving soon turned into an outright attack one afternoon.

The reasons behind the attacks were somewhat explained to me, apparently whilst up on the mountain we had to make tough decisions. Some of the people we tried to retrieve from the mountain died a most untimely death. I had asked why the hatred people were showing was only directed at me but nobody seemed to be able to answer that question. I knew without a doubt that they were keeping things back, and I still to this day do not know what fully happened up on that mountain.

I lay there on my cot and stare up at the grey ceiling, my mind absently roaming the depths of my mind. I feel my eyes beginning to flutter tiredly and at some point I must have fallen asleep.

_The first thing I am aware of when my eyes open, is the heavy and limp body leaning against mine. Who it is I do not know because I can not see their face, mine is resting in the crook of their neck as they whisper something in my ear "Thanks Princess" the mans voice croaks before his head drops._

_I step away from him and realize that his lifeless body is tied to a wooden post that is sticking out of the ground. My gaze soon flickers to the red pool of blood now seeping through his grey shirt. Frowning I glance down at the knife clutched tightly in my hand, blood dripping from it slowly._

_Horrified I stagger back from him, only for my foot to catch on a root in the ground and suddenly I am falling. I close my eyes and ready myself for the impact, as my back hits the hard ground the air rushes from my lungs. My eyes shoot open quickly and I manage to cry out when a broad shouldered man hovers over me "For my brother" he growls before his huge hands wrap around my neck and he begins to literally strangle the life out of me._

_I awake from my nightmare clutching my neck, my skin is slick with sweat and my breathing comes out in short quick gasps. I sit there for a moment, trying to piece together what I had just seen. I couldn't fathom if it was just a nightmare, or if it was a painful memory, I cannot help but think that maybe it is the latter. I raise my hand with the intention of wiping the sweat from my brow, but when my eyes flicker towards the limb all I can see is the red blood coating it._

_"You killed my brother," a gruff voice states from the doorway of my cell, my eyes quickly snap in the direction the sound came from, and there he stands. Six feet of pure muscle, his shoulders rising and falling with every breath that he takes, his bald head tattooed with some sort of tribal design._

_"No, please" I plead as he menacingly steps into my room, his hands shaking violently "I'm sorry," I gasp as I scramble out of my bed. I turn on the spot, trying to find another exit other than the one the man is blocking. It is then that I see him, his hands still tied behind his back, the blood now dried and stained on his shirt._

_"Princess," he sneers, the voice that was soft and gentle before now drips with hatred. His white, dead eyes bore into me as he lifts his head "murderer"_

_"Murderer," the gruff voice repeats directly into my ear, and they both begin to chant the word like a mantra. I cover my ears in hopes of blocking out their cold voices but still the words reverberate off the walls and towards me._

_"NO!" I shout out in desperation "NO STOP IT! PLEASE STOP"_

"Clarke?" I awaken to the sound of a soft voice calling my name and I quickly turn towards the warm arms that wrap around me "It's just a nightmare," they coo in my ear as I break down in their arms. We sit there in my bed for what feels like hours, but as I start to calm down I notice that my crying has soaked the persons shirt. Straightening up I quickly wipe my eyes, and I notice that its one of my other friends Raven sitting beside me.

"I'm sorry, I don't usually react like this after a nightmare, that one was just-" I frown as words fail to explain just how terrifying the dream actually was.

"You were calling his name," she mumbles with her eyes cast off in the distance.

"What?"

"I heard you from down the hallway, screaming his name over and over, you were begging him to forgive you"

"Who is he?" I ask urgently, but she doesn't hear me, she just stares ahead and I watch as her eyes begin to fill with unshed tears "Raven?" I whisper as I reach for her hand, it is then that she seems to come out of her daze and her face turns to steel.

"His name was Finn. He was the man that we both loved, and he was also the man that you killed Clarke"

**A/N - Thank you for all the support on the last chapter, I honestly wasn't expecting it.**


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